Building a Dream

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It’s been a long haul and I can hardly believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted. If there is anyone out there still following me, THANK YOU!

I am preparing Kitschy Chic for 4 upcoming fall events! This is our first concerted effort to bring this business out. It seemed the inevitable next step and just felt right. Truth be told, I can continue to quietly fill room after room with a wonderfully colorful collection of bags to be admired, or I can get them out there to a hopefully adoring public. Fact is, unless I try, I will never know – will I? So as I build bags in every spare waking moment, I also find myself lost in the exhilaration of all that can be.

I am glad to have this very happy thing to occupy my heart because this summer has been a particularly unusual one. My mother had to undergo a very serious and complicated medical procedure. I know it is nothing short of a miracle that she is recovering as well as she is and I am very grateful for that. The entire experience changed me. I always thought I was a spiritual being but I reached a new level of faithfulness when all I could do, every waking moment, was to find my way to her so I could just sit by her side to pass away the hours, minutes and seconds of the day… often alone but always at peace being next to her.  Given I live 400 km away from her, none of this was easy.  I have one other sibling but it felt as though I may as well have been an only child. Thankfully for mom, she doesn’t remember much of it. I wish I could say the same.

As painful as that was, and notwithstanding my constant companionship, this has also been a journey of letting go. Now there is a theme that seems to follow me. I guess love is complicated type of simple. You follow your heart because it will always lead you to where you are needed, however, there are no guarantees there will ever be anything in return – other than knowing you did the right thing. I thought I understood the meaning of forgiveness but I’ve seen that there is always room to grow. I think I can honestly say to you today that I have authentically experienced what forgiveness, surrender and love feel like. And in this case, I also am learning the difficult lesson of letting go of all the hopes and expectations I held that one day, my mother would see me for the woman I’ve become. I have learned that it is ok that she won’t -or perhaps, that she can’t. It doesn’t change who I am. Most importantly, what I’ve learned is that it doesn’t mean I love her any less. And there is the funny thing about love –  sometimes, no matter what appears manifest before our eyes, we are lucky enough to tap into that unconditional part of it that fills the soul with sunshine and happy rainbows.

Thank you for reading. Please do visit my On-Line Shop.

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2 thoughts on “Building a Dream

  1. What a personal growth journey. Things like this put life in perspective and cast a new or different light. It must have been a difficult time for you, stay strong! And good luck for the fall events 🙂

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    1. In ways I am still trying to sort out, Sil! Life is a miracle, which I am learning, that if I step aside and allow to be, I have everything I could ever want. Thank you for being a part of my journey, Sil – I love that you read my entries. I also love your creative undertakings! Nelush

      Liked by 1 person

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